A Christian struggling with Anxiety

I've had this all my life and didn't know it.

I didn’t know what to call it. The only thing I knew of was my actions. Biting my fingernails constantly as a kid. Then, it was in high school, where I heard about social anxiety. This was from a friend, who noticed how I tensed up around large crowds.

Feeling like every eye is on me. With my own anxious thoughts, I drew people towards me. Maybe even demons unknowingly. As I grew towards college, things felt easier. I joined a group chat with incoming students and made some good relationships. This helped me to talk to people more naturally on campus.

Then, I went back into isolation. The stress of my school’s tuition weighed so heavily on me. There was no more socializing. All the groups I became a part of ended. I was completely alone and felt good about it.

Now, I’ve learned this to be a lie. We should not be comfortable in our anxieties. It only leads us to hell. Literally, in the pit where I’ve been and stayed way longer than expected.

In the book of Samuel, God mentions the distressing spirit. I read past this the first time. Re-reading it for myself brought me to utter shock. These are not only my feelings. There is something, like a higher force influencing my thoughts and my actions.

“Let our lord now command thy servants, which are before thee, to seek out a man, who is a cunning player on an harp: and it shall come to pass, when the evil (distressing) spirit from God is upon thee, that he shall play with his hand, and thou shalt be well.” - 1 Samuel 16:16

We know these things to be true. The attacks of the enemy. We view things in a spiritual sense. When God reveals much to you, it changes you for the good. Then, you are able to apply the right things in your life.

How can we cope? One thing we are advised to do is to read the word. It can be hard sometimes to read in a depressive state. But, here’s the good thing that we have. Prayer.

Prayer changes all things. Prayer helps us to get through the hard times. The Apostle Paul tells us to Pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17). Get up and look up towards the Lord. He is your helper. He sees you right where you are.

Music. Before coming to Christ, I loved all types of music. I was very obsessed. Walking into this new life, I brought some of the old patterns towards gospel music. Playing the same songs over and over because I’ve fallen in love with the song. This is wrong in my eyes. We love God, and not anything or anyone more than Him.

Music tells a story. Stories of many walking with Christ. It offers us so much hope ahead. Keeping in mind to sing these songs to God. Giving Him the praise and worship.

The Lord is with us.

Bible Verses for you:

“I WILL lift up mine eyes unto the hills (mountains), from whence cometh my help. 2 My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.” - Psalm 121:1,2

“But the Spirit of the LORD departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the LORD troubled him.” -1 Samuel 16:14

“And it came to pass, when the evil spirit from God was upon Saul, that David took an harp, and played with his hand: so Saul was refreshed, and was well, and the evil (distressing) spirit departed from him.” - 1 Samuel 16:23

“Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts (desires) of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode (stands) not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of (from his own nature) his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.” - John 8:44

May God Bless You!

Love,

Donyea Cierre